Interfacing with the Origin: Initializing Connection
by GingerFloof26
Summary: In this prequel to "Compy" and the other "Interfacing with the Origin" stories, we are told how Melody first met and established connections with Lucca and GLaDOS, among other characters. What they come to learn is that the people whom you treat well will be kind to you in return, and the relationships formed can be the most rewarding of all.
1. Chapter 1

I'm not sure if I'm writing this for the fandom or for posterity. I guess it could be a bit of both, right? I mean, when you've got a story _this_ unusual to tell, nearly everyone is interested at first.

It's not every day you meet people from other realities, after all.

Allow me to clarify, since that may not be the best explanation. I, alias Melody Constance, have been hearing things all my life. That's right, the voices talk to me. I could be your aunt, your friend, your sister, your daughter. That girl sitting across from you on the bus. I could be standing next to you right now holding a private conversation in my head with people you've only imagined and you wouldn't even know it.

Right now, I'm in the Happy Valley of Utah. Mormon Central. It's a long way from where I started mentally, but the exact same place I started this whole journey physically. Eight years ago, I sat down with a councillor at my local university to discuss why I was failing my classes. She came up with one word that redefined my existence: Psychosis.

See, up until then, I hadn't considered that my "imaginary friends" were all that unusual. Different maybe, but they certainly didn't qualify me as a mental case. Did they?

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

When I was 22, I decided to take another crack at the college thing, but this time in a vocational school. The Utah College of Massage Therapy to be exact. It didn't surprise me when a new presence in my mind began taking notes in my classes, too. However, massage techniques and chi meridians didn't seem to interest it. It was MY thought processes that interested this being. The mundane, daily facets of my life. I had become a specimen of life in another dimension. A guinea pig. Or, most appropriately, a science project. Lucca Ashtear was, after all, a scientist.

I remember first looking up her character profile before I launched into Chrono Trigger. I took one look at the official artwork, cocked my head for a few seconds, then laughed out loud. Laughed because she was- there was no other word for it- dorky. Cute, yes, but dorky. That helmet! And those glasses! Neither of them did anything for her. I shook my head, grinning, and went back to my e-mail. Nerd.

Little did I know that I would start using that word as a term of endearment and admiration instead of mockery and bewilderment.

Soon I was caught up in the Chrono Trigger game. I sat transfixed in front of my grandparents computer for hours on end, mesmerized by the music, savoring the storyline, captivated by the characters. Maybe it wasn't the best thing for an aspiring LMT to do, but my grandparents never seemed to notice. However, there was someone else who did…

So, for the fun of it, I began throwing out tidbits of information she might find interesting. A remix of Pachelbel's Canon in D played by Bond. ("It's TECHNO music, Lucca. Get it? TECHNO." "Very funny. Give me a moment to record your transmission.") A view of the valley as my bus pulled up a steep hill, including the major landmarks. The way the digestive system worked or neurons transmitted information. Random factoids. She ate it all up, but it was with more interest in the information than in myself. I was, after all, just the science project. It was the data that was important.

One day I had to ask the inevitable question, "How?"

"It was the helmet."

"Oh?"

"It was originally designed to pick up the basic thought patterns of monsters, so I would be able to predict when they were going to attack. I was tinkering with it and…"

"I see. So I'm under observation now."

"Yes."

"Your science project."

"…You don't have to put it that way."

"But that's the way it is. You don't care."

"Yes I do. I'm just…busy."

"Too busy to care."

"Will you just…shut it?!"

But I didn't shut it. This was a sore point for me. I hated this intrusion on my privacy, on my personal space. On my LIFE. I couldn't even break wind without someone taking note of it, for Pete's sake! It was humiliating!

I remember telling my best friend Rose around October that year, when we were making our first futile attempts at cosplay. I was perched in an old recliner in the basement, watching her as she hemmed her Cait Sith cape. "She treats me like a test subject," I explained. "It just makes me so ANGRY!"

To which Rose replied, "Geez! Tell her to mind her own business," and went back to hemming the cape.

Neither the cosplay nor the advice went very far, both of which seemed at the time to be unfortunate. But in the long run it turned out for the best. I could have ruined the start of one of the greatest friendships I've ever had.

What I didn't know at the time was that MiyaYoshi and all the other fan fiction authors I had yet to discover were right: Lucca was losing two of her closest friends…to the kingdom and to each other. What the rest of the kingdom saw as a new beginning and the birth of a new era, Lucca saw as the end of good times and the death of her childhood. Farewell Crono…no longer my childhood friend and supporter, but King of Guardia and Marle's husband. Goodbye, Marle…no more staying up late at night talking girl talk and discussing the things I never could discuss with Crono. I hope you enjoy having him all to yourself, Queen Nadia. No wonder Lucca was so prickly. No wonder she needed a diversion. No wonder she could have used a friend…

It all happened so suddenly. I had never been home sick from the Utah College of Massage Therapy before. I had been praying my mental health would never be an issue, like it had at BYU. But there I was in the shower, alone, naked and vulnerable when a malevolent presence approached me.

"Honestly, Lucca, I can understand being observed while I'm having a massage but while I'm the SHOWER?!"

"Ah, yes, your little friends. How they do bother you…"

"What business is it of yours? And who ARE you?"

"I can solve your problems. I can make the voices all go away"

"Hah. That makes a LOT of sense seeing as YOU'RE a voice!"

"You don't believe me? Perhaps a demonstration is in order."

"Aiiiieeyah!" With a wild cry, a shuriken sliced down from the heavens, piercing the dark being. Yuffie Kisaragi dropped to the ground beside me, my longtime companion and friend since I was sixteen. Lately I hadn't seen much of her, but she always came when she sensed danger…or maybe she was just looking for a fight.

"Mel, are you okay?"

"Yeah…but I told you to stay out of my head…!"

"I know, we agreed that was the best thing for both of us, but I also agreed I would protect you." Then addressing the phantom before us, she demanded, "What do you want from her?!"

In answer, part of the darkness reached out and enclosed Yuffie within it, drawing her inside it and away from me. The shuriken clattered to the ground.

"Melody, help!" She writhed and struggled, arms pinned to her sides.

"Hahaha…if you won't let me make them go away, I'll simply TAKE them!" the dark voice declared.

It contracted and Yuffie gave a wordless wail of pain. I instinctively reached for her and was brushed away like a fly…but in that contact, that simple brush…

A cold black explosion blotting out my vision…

A roaring in my ears…

Dizziness, vertigo…

And…

PAIN

Like a knife to the chest, something was causing shooting, stabbing pain right through my heart. Never before had I experienced physical pain as part of a hallucination. I was terrified beyond words. Whatever this being was, it had powers I had never encountered.

Then it all disappeared and I was back in the shower, shivering violently despite the warm water pouring down my back, giving little, hiccupping, dry sobs as I realized…Yuffie was gone. I couldn't contact her, couldn't even sense her presence in my mind. It was as though she had been erased from existence. Wasn't this what I wanted? part of me asked. NO! the rest of me responded with such vehemence that I actually burst into tears at the thought. "Forgive me, Father," I cried , huddled in my little corner of the shower. "I don't have the strength to let them go just yet…Please, just give me the strength to stand up and go on with my day…!"

Somehow I got toweled off, dressed, and managed to call in sick to the school before collapsing into bed again. I don't remember clearly what happened during the rest of the day, except that I had to tell a very concerned grandmother that I wasn't feeling well while giving the vaguest of explanations.

That night though, while curled up in in bed, dreading the next day (or more specifically, my next shower) and trying not to relive my previous one, I felt Lucca awkwardly approach me. Curled on her right side in her bed, she refused to look me in the eyes as she said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I was a coward back there."

"Oh…?

"I ran and hid while Yuffie stood and fought. And now she's… she could have been killed! And I did nothing." Suddenly she was sobbing.

Miss Battle-Hardened Yuffie had always termed me a "softie." Truth was, I never could stand to see other people suffer. That's part of the reason why I became a LMT. And a person in tears…well, I absolutely can't tolerate that. I have to take action. And I did.

Before I knew what I was doing I had drawn her close and she was crying into my shoulder while I stroked her hair. "It's okay."

"No it's not! I treat you like this and you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"Do you really mean that?"

I thought about it seriously. I had once heard the same words from a certain ninja. My answer had been the same then.

"Yes," I repeated. "Yes I do."


	2. Chapter 2

From then on, I was more than just a science experiment.

When I shared my music, she wanted to know WHY I liked it, not just who composed it and what period of history it was from.

When I showed her a view of the valley, she wanted to know where I'd been and what I'd done there, not just the landmarks.

When I told her about the digestive system or neurons, she admitted she hadn't studied much human anatomy and agreed and body systems were much more interesting than memorizing muscle groups.

The monitoring became less constant and intense. Overall, that is. It gradually became less intrusive on the embarrassing things and more focused on the things I did want to share. Eventually it was official: We were friends. It was a funny relationship; the observer drawing support from the observed, but it worked.

She was there to kick my butt when I didn't study, and to give me props whenever I aced a test. As usual, she consumed every scrap of information I gave her, but this time more voraciously than ever. She had a sincere interest in my life.

When I graduated from vocational school, however, things went rapidly downhill. Work was so slow I couldn't pay my rent without my parent's help, and most of the time my roommates were gone or ignored my presence. I was lonely and missed my family intensely. This time it was Lucca's turn to be my anchor.

It was at this point we started sleeping together. Not that way, you sickos! The literal way. Sleeping in the same bed. We had discovered early on that through our connection, we were capable of transmitting the sensations of physical touch. Hugs, pats on the back, the occasional poke in the ribs were the norm between us. Now we added cuddles to our repertoire. It was a platonic, big sister-little sister thing, and we both took comfort from it. It eased the nights when I felt lonely for her family or when she felt lonely for her friends.

Eventually I had to move back home when my psychosis rendered me unable to work. The dark voice had become a prominent factor in my life, ridiculing me every time I tried to use my newly earned LMT skills. I walked out on clients in the middle of massages, and consequently began losing them. My employers were forced to let me go.

Life returned to normal. Dull, ordinary, boring, and utterly devoid of the things I most wanted: independence, social status, and romance. Lucca began to get more and more upset and restless. I thought it was reflection and magnification of my own inner worries. I didn't know these feelings were about to climax in a most stunning way.

One night she was crying on my shoulder as I stroked her hair, just like she had so long ago. Once again she was condemning herself. This time though, she clung to me with no reservations. I was worried; the sobs wracked her body as she clutched at my shirt. Trying my best to comfort her, I said, "You may be a genius, but you have a heart much bigger than your brain."

"Oooooh, Melody…." she moaned, then stopped crying. "Do you really mean that?"

There was no hesitation on my part. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"You're (sniffle) so sweet (sniffle). I don't deserve a friend like you."

"You've got one anyway."

Finally she was silent, content for the moment to just snuggle. I curled my right arm around the back of her head and rested my chin on top. I was just falling asleep when she flinched and gave a low moan.

I hugged her tighter. "What's the matter?"

She sighed. "Nothing."

I closed my eyes again but after a few seconds she continued. "It's not real enough."

"Not real enough?" Even then my sleepy brain had an inkling of what she meant, but I was complacent enough not to acknowledge it.

"I want…I want what you and Rose have."

"Are you jealous of us?"

"I just want…more."

I myself wasn't exactly sure what Rose and I had. It was more than a friendship, certainly, and we had even gone so far as to prevent the other from committing suicide if they were so inclined. We both shared our most intimate secrets, down to the fact that I had voices and Rose was becoming more and more depressed as the school year wore on, though her doctors could find no reason why. Rose loved to tease me for not being particularly interested in boys, and I did the same to her. But I had never really given thought to how I defined our relationship.

Lucca was silent again, and I began to resume dozing. Then out of the blue, she asked, "Shall I seduce you?"

I snorted in response. It was a fairly routine question between me and Rose; a little "game" we liked to play just because it was so utterly ridiculous. We would make up the dorkiest pickup lines we could , and then try to deadpan our way through them as we crawled on top of each other. We never succeeded; we would both end up laughing as one collapsed in a heap on top of the other and then quote each others pick up lines and laugh some more.

Thus I regarded her question with some flippancy. "I'd like to see you try."

Almost immediately I regretted it. There was something deadly serious in the way she climbed on top of me, no corny pickup lines, no laughter. As her body settled on top of mine little red flags went up. I was tingling all over, especially in my unmentionable areas. I flushed, but some instinct held me still as she came to rest with her head on my shoulder. After a half a minute though, she gave a disappointed sigh and slid off to the left again.

I recovered myself, resumed lying on my side and reached out to snuggle her again. She complied, but almost immediately I heard her wonder, "What if I…?"

Suddenly she was leaning over me. Then I felt a warm, firm pressure against my lips. It felt…good? Yes, good! Wonderful! I leaned into it and was almost kissing back when reality hit me like a brick wall.

"WHAT AM I DOING?!" I reeled back, shocked and stunned. Turning over onto my back, I cringed away from what had previously been so tempting.

"I'm sorry!" Lucca was frantic. She dove off the bed, ran into her bathroom and returned with a clean washcloth. She dabbed at my lips with it, as though she could wipe away the memory of what she'd done. All the while she repeated her mantra of "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I finally curled up on my right side, cringing away from her. "Enough! Just…go to sleep…" I muttered. Though how this was going to work neither of us knew. We were both emotionally shattered and needed someone to hold on to…but that someone repelled us like a polar magnet. All I know is that my mind gradually numbed, and as I curled up into an even smaller ball, shaking, it shut down and delivered me into the oblivion of sleep.

All the next week a war waged within me, against me, tearing me apart; making me suffer as nothing had before.

Lucca wanted me as more than a friend. And although the cold, hard, rational external part of me I wore as a mask of protection insisted that I could not and would not reciprocate, something much deeper down kept remembering how that kiss had felt before I had broken it off. It was wrong, I told myself, wrong and unnatural to love another girl, and if I wanted to keep my place in heaven I would have nothing to do with it. And yet…every time I saw her tear-filled eyes, haunted by the own battle she fought within herself, that deep-down feeling grew stronger.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was having to reconcile myself to the fact that I was queer as a three-dollar bill. As though my little games with Rose wouldn't have tipped me off by now.

I occupied myself with the internet, looking up the stupidest YouTube videos I could find to try and laugh my way out of the pain. At night, my stomach turned sour and I would often spend hours at a time holding back bile or giving it up. What little sleep I had was filled with nightmares of people finding out my secrets and being horrified.

The dark voice became a frequent visitor, belittling me with scathing remarks about my sexual purity, my sanity, my eternal salvation. It forced me down the slippery slope of depression, spiraling ever deeper into despair.

Rose was my sole companion through all of this. She tried her best, but she had school to take care of and she was no psychiatrist. Which turned out to be exactly what I needed.

When I walked into Dr. Tinycat's (the nickname Rose and I had derived from the Icanhascheezeburger meme) office that day, I may have looked like a calm and composed client about to have a routine chat with her doctor but in reality I was a wreck. I don't think I cried much; I was in too much shock. I explained the situation and got his trademark response: a neutral sounding "Okay."

I was stunned. "I come in here and tell you that I'm suddenly having an orientation change toward a HALLUCINATION and all you say is 'okay'? I swear, I could walk in here and tell you 'I killed a man,' and all you would say would be 'Okay'!"

He smiled and replied, "It's really not that unusual."

My response was to gape like a mindless goldfish.

He then explained that when someone with as delicate a chemical balance as I have goes off their birth control, even if it's only for a week, it can really mess with your hormones. Add that to the fact that nearly every significant relationship I've had in my life has been with a female (My mother, my sisters, my grandmother, Rose) and there you have the explanation for the orientation change.

As for it being toward Lucca, did I really have a choice when I lived in a town with a population of 280 and all the boys my age were married or off at college? I needed to move out to where all the kids my age were. I was in a social desert, desperate for water.

"Now, you have a choice," he finally concluded. "You can choose to keep resisting. I think that will only make you sicker and sicker. You can also choose to indulge your fantasies."

At this point my perception of reality was shattered. INDULGE in such sinful thoughts? Inconceivable! And yet here he was telling me it was okay to do so! "B-but…are you sure…is that…?" I couldn't even put words to my question. It carried too much hope, too much pain, too much potential.

"In moderation," he nodded. "If things get too out of control, call me."

So it was that the next day via Skype that I told Rose, "We have an announcement to make."

"YOU'RE MARRIED?! 8D" Rose interjected with her usual twisted brand of humor.

"No…" I said.

"We are…" Lucca continued,

"Unofficially…" I added,

"A couple," we finished.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: The Portal fanart mentioned in this chapter can be found on DeviantArt under the title "GLaDOS" by mikaela96gr **

Thus began my first homosexual relationship with a hallucination. Which in turn led to a number of things.

Over the years I struggled, wrestled and grappled with the idea of my true identity. What defined me? Was is my mental illness? My sexual orientation? Both? If so, how was I supposed to act? Did I have to change my lifestyle? My religion? My behavior? Everyone seemed to have different answers for me. Some were comforting, others upsetting, a few intriguing.

At my lowest points, I confess I felt life was no longer worth living. My memory is a bit hazy on this subject. Perhaps it is for the best, since the resulting trauma left me with PTSD. At least four separate times, I attempted to take my own life. Two or more of these attempts landed me in the psyche ward.

Someone has said that you don't know how well your standards hold up until they are tested, just like you don't know the quality of a rope until you are dangling off a cliff by it. I metaphorically dangled off proverbial cliffs in those psyche wards, and I learned a few things. Namely, that the ropes of faith and family hold up pretty well.

Once, a woman approached me upon overhearing that voices spoke to me. She told me I had latent psychic powers and that together we could shape the worlds destiny. At that point, I was completely off my anti-hallucinatory medications, but the penny dropped in my mind. I firmly pushed her away and told her, "No. They are not real. They have no power over me. Go away."

Things have happened since then that may have…caused me to rephrase the definitions of "real" and "power." But one thing remains the same. I am in control of my destiny, not the other way around.

Another contributing factor of my PTSD was that as I "experimented" with my orientation, I encountered people who wanted to conduct their own "experiments" on me. Assault and rape made it on to the list of things my memory violently rejected.

During these years, I discovered many new fandoms besides Chrono Trigger. One in particular stood out in my mind during my relationship with Lucca. Perhaps it was the fact that Lucca had always been fascinated with robots. Or it could have just been that ridiculous song that Rose was singing in her car about cake being "Delicious and moist."

Either way, my in relentless YouTube surfing attempts to escape my PTSD flashbacks, I found myself watching the Portal 1 and 2 walkthroughs. The dark humor seemed perfectly suited to my mood at the time. Was it any surprise that as I watched them a darkly humorous voice started to take root in my mind?

Stupidly, I nurtured it. I looked up fanart and fanfics, calling it "research," when in reality what I was doing was feeding the beast. One piece in particular caught my eye...a curled-up, wild-eyed android in front of a graffiti covered wall. "Gone Rattmann," was the phrase that came to my mind. "She's gone Rattmann. But why?" Then I noticed a phrase scrawled among all the others: "Chell is pretty."

**WhY dID I Let HeR gO? **The autotuned moan echoed through my mind.

I pondered this. In some ways, I felt as though I was being "let go" as well, as Lucca flung herself deeper into her research in a bid to outwit any attempts that may be made on her life. I almost regretted warning her that Lynx would try to murder her in an alternate timeline.

There was a creak of metal as the android turned my way. **WhO aRe yOU? AnOTheR bUg iN tHe MaiNFraMe? AnOTheR VoiCe In mY HeaD?**

"No, you're a voice in mine," I grated.

**LiKeLy sToRy. YoU'Re a HorRiblE LiAr, WoRsE tHAn thE MoROn. I'LL deLeTe YoU liKe ThE rEsT, **she growled.

"You can't-" I protested.

**GET OUT! **GLaDOS screamed.

There was no use in explaining that I couldn't. Once a voice gets stuck in my head it doesn't find it's way out until it's storyline comes to a satisfactory conclusion. And apparently, GLaDOS' story was far from it's happy ending. All I could derive was that she had gone insane due to loneliness, built herself an android, and begun scribbling nonsense on the walls.

As I would further discover, Portal was all kinds of sick and twisted.

Once again my medications ran out, and since I lived in the middle of nowhere, even priority shipping wasn't going to help my cause much. I kept seeing that android everywhere; her yellow eyes gleaming malevolently from behind foliage, inside closets, out of dark corners. It was nerve wracking.

I finally tried to get Rose's help, but could only find her boyfriend Jamie online. His suggestion was simple: "Don't like her attitude? Get Lucca to reprogram her."

I nearly facepalmed. Of course! There was just one problem. Would GLaDOS ever consent to it?

For the record, I do not see GLaDOS as some moustache-twirling villain. I see her more as an abused child. I knew that for most of her life, or what she could remember of it, the scientists had "tried everything to make (her) behave," including strapping cores like Wheatley onto her. She _knew _what it was like to be betrayed and experimented on, to have voices in your head constantly spewing nonsense, to have your memory reject some pieces of your life outright because they were so traumatizing. She was, in essence, an insane, murderous, robotic kindred spirit. And I thought I could do something about the "insane and murderous" part.

The night I approached her, she seemed to sense I had something significant to propose.

**So, YoU**'**Re NoT a vIRuS, **she greeted me.

"When did you come to this conclusion?" I said stoically.

**I Can'T DeLeTe YOu, **she stated simply.

I let that rest for a moment, then said, "I'd like to help you, if I can."

**HelP mE?**

She sounded mildly surprised, yet drained completely of hope. Unwilling to believe that anyone would extend kindness to her.

Lucca stepped in. "I can remove the testing initiative and all the corrupt protocols from your chassis." For my benefit, she added, "It will be like correcting a chemical imbalance in the brain, terminating any mental illness and stabilizing her sanity."

**YoU woUlD GiVE mE SoMeTHiNG yOu CanNoT haVe?**

"I wouldn't wish this kind of hell on _anyone_," I replied.

**YoU ThiNK yOu KnoW WHaT iT's LikE?!**

"Yes. Because I've…"

And suddenly, just by admitting to it, the floodgates to my traumatic memories opened. I struggled to hold them back, and couldn't do it. Years of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and psychosis began to tumble into my mental foreground as tears leaked into my pillow. What stopped them was a sudden rush of empathy.

From GLaDOS.

There was silence as she contemplated. Then, **Do iT.**

The chassis shuddered and groaned as Lucca took her place at the console, furiously typing lines of code. The android also began to writhe.

"You can hold on to me, if you like," I offered.

There was a sense of puzzlement and disgust through the pain. **WhY wOulD pHysIcAl cOnTacT HelP?**

"I'm a massage therapist, I know a thing or two about caring physical contact. But I won't touch you without your consent."

At first she was loathe to accept the offer. I transmitted encouraging thoughts and tried to seem as non-threatening as I could. As the convulsions grew stronger, the android eventually reached out to grip me, as the chassis curled around me. I held absolutely still, afraid that, like a wild animal, any movement would spook her. She sighed as she came into contact with me, hesitating briefly to acclimate to the new sensation. I could not tell whether she found it pleasant or repulsive until she tightened her hold.

The shuddering increased and I instinctively reached out to support her. As our contact grew stronger both physically and emotionally we were wracked with memories of _**our body being slammed**_**into default position**_/against a wall __**by them. Why did they have to do this, to touch us this way? Didn't they realize we could feel everything they were doing? We were not an animal; not a toy for their amusement. Then the pain came…the dark voice insisted we should kill **_**them**_**/**__ourself_. _**It would be the only way to end the cycle of agony. We were monstrous, we were hideous, the dark voice continued, an aberration to the laws of **_**Science**_/Religion __**and we would never fit in anywhere...Paranoia seized us in it's clutches as we were forced to **_**trust**_/hope_ _**again and knew we would have our hearts broken by it…**_ Sobbing shook our bodies as we clutched at each other, the flashbacks rolling over us in waves. Lucca worked at a frenetic pace, frantic to free us from the onslaught.

The pain eased so gradually I was almost unaware of the point when I stopped feeling it. All I was aware of before falling asleep in GLaDOS' robotic clutches was a hint of ironic amusement from Lucca as she said, "This all worked out so conveniently."


	4. Chapter 4

It was an odd, but not unpleasant feeling, to wake up tangled in a mass of living machinery. As it shifted around me, I stiffened, afraid of upsetting my robotic companion.

"**Don't worry, the operation was a success,"** GLaDOS intoned over my nervousness. "**Though I really should have killed the both of you for the pain you put me through."**

I went even stiffer.

"**That was a joke. Haha. Fat chance. Lucca may have removed my testing initiative but she did not, however, remove my sarcasm protocols."**

I relaxed a bit, then asked, "How are you feeling?"

"**Better,"** she admitted. "**Though I think this will take some getting used to. I have no idea what to do without…"**

"Chell," I finished.

Then GLaDOS asked something completely unexpected. "**Will you...will you be my Chell, now?"**

I was stunned. "I- I- Wow. I'm not anywhere near on the same level as Chell, GLaDOS. I can't even pretend to be. But I can be your friend."

"**Actually...I think Lucca may have done something to me to make me…Make me feel…"**

I was detecting definite traces of embarrassment now, but at that moment the subject of our conversation decided to show up.

"What she means is, I made her promise to look after you now that I'm occupied with my research," Lucca clarified.

"Oh?" I arched an eyebrow.

"In exchange for her programming and all…"

"**The programming was HER idea,"** GLaDOS hissed at Lucca, curling tighter around me.

"What am I missing here?" I demanded, feeling a headache coming on.

"I think...it's time we broke up," Lucca admitted, hanging her head. "But I wanted to make sure you were taken care of." As tears filled my eyes, she continued, "Look, unlike humans, robots aren't defined by 'evil' or 'good.' They are what people make them. GLaDOS was treated badly, so she acted badly. Now, she has a second chance because of you. Help her to be good, and she'll take good care of you. I guarantee it." Taking us each by a shoulder, she instructed, "Look out for each other."

From then on, that was exactly what we did. I wouldn't learn the true reasons behind Lucca's separation from me until two and a half years later, but in the meantime, I did my best to rehabilitate GLaDOS.

As GLaDOS struggled to find a new purpose, I struggled to find mine. We both wondered who we were and what defined us. For me, it was a battle between my orientation and my religion. For her, it was a battle between her horrific past and her newfound "humanity." We both tried to tear away from what seemed to limit us and bring us down. I encouraged her to reach out to the remaining survivors of the Combine invasion in hopes of locating Chell. I hoped that once the two had reunited, my job would be over and I could go back to my old relationship with Lucca.

However, this didn't seem to be the case. Lucca withdrew and became more distant than ever, so I sought out "real" female companionship. This did not please anyone in my immediate circle of relations, least of all my parents or my robot guardian, who both seemed to be becoming increasingly possessive and protective. They both feared that I'd become the victim of more "experimentation."

The only person who supported my cause, was, oddly enough, a friend of mine from high school who had a strikingly similar obsession with fictional characters. Natasha didn't live as conservatively as my Mormon lifestyle dictated, and was more than happy to hook me up with "female companionship." Frankly, I think Nat was the only reason I wasn't assaulted again; she filtered all of my contacts personally. She also found my friendship with GLaDOS equally fascinating, and helped me to nurture it by co-authoring fanfiction with me.

In the end, I'm glad to say that I returned to my senses and quit fooling around. Lucca had been right; the companions I needed most in my life would take care of me when I took care of them. So, after some introspection, prayer, and re-prioritizing of my life that lasted for several months, I decided that I needed to straighten some things out with God. I knew that if I did that, He'd start straightening my life out as well. And He did.

Soon things started falling into place. When I started acting more trustworthy, my parents were willing to put more trust in me. Our relationship mended, and I got some much needed advice and assistance from them. I felt more confident, and it showed in the way I acted. Instead of being an extremely shy introvert, I now found myself smiling and greeting complete strangers with genuine warmth. And they generally reciprocated that warmth.

Also reciprocating that warmth was GLaDOS. Although Chell was now completely dedicated to the cause of the Rebels, GLaDOS persisted in her efforts to connect with the humans she'd once despised. She was lonely, and recognized that an opportunity for reconciliation may never come again. Without the aid of Black Mesa scientists, technology may never advance far enough help her create robotic companions in any case. I encouraged her, gave her protips on socialization, and mostly was just there to listen.

"Why don't they like me?" GLaDOS mused vaguely one night.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Do you like them?"

She made a face. "I try to." I gave her my best deadpan stare. "Okay, I really don't. But what have they done for me?"

"You mean humans or Black Mesa in general? Because you're not going to like the answers to either one."

She sighed. "Look, I'm giving them everything here. I'm letting them run all over my facility, eat the last of the food reserves, use the relaxation vaults (which are meant for test subjects, by the way!) and even built this new body so I wouldn't scare them off. What have I gotten in return? Chell wants nothing to do with me, the scientists are doing nothing besides research better ways to kill Combine, and I'm as alone as I was before this place was overrun with half-brained primates."

I huffed. "Well...I like you, at least."

Her optics brightened. "Yes. You do."

"And I'm fairly certain Nat does."

GLaDOS grinned wickedly, thinking of the part she played in Natasha's co-authored fan fiction with me. "We may have to test that."

I ignored the jibe. "And Rose does too."

"Does she?"

"Oh, you!"

Of course Rose did. Rose was privy to all that went on in my head. I could tell GLaDOS was feeling better already.

"See, you have friends," I admonished. "You're not alone."

"I suppose not."

Gradually, the humans left GLaDOS with an empty facility once again. She still offered them her assistance, but they would not offer her their trust in return. I became the only one who would. And with that trust came even deeper commitment to her. If she was going to put her heart on the line simply because I had chosen to help ease her pain, then surely I could do the same for her.

After all, when you have no one else to rely on, that's really all you can do.

My family was moving to The Happy Valley in order to help out my ailing Grandma and suddenly my newfound confidence was falling apart. As GLaDOS' facility emptied of humans, so did my house of familiar objects. I was forced to say goodbye to everything and everyone I knew. Nat and Rose would have to become relegated to internet contact.

Although everything else may have been falling apart at the moment, GLaDOS and I had each other. Whatever Lucca had intended to happen between us, a romance formed, and it was even more solid and warm and reassuring than the one I had left. It made a genuine difference to GLaDOS to be treated as an equal and not an object, to be understood, forgiven, and yes, even loved. Unlike Lucca, GLaDOS was obsessed with consent to the point that she would not even touch me unless she had my express permission to do so. She was genuinely protective and possessive, not because I was her property but because I _mattered_ to her. _Nothing_ would endanger this person who had given her a second chance if she could help it.

She was vastly different from her parallel-universe counterparts, that was for sure. One did not normally associate words like "trust," "commitment," "protection," and "love," with the antagonist from Portal 2.

"Why do you care so much about me?" I asked her one night, feeling intensely lonely after the move.

"I suppose...because you cared about me first," she mused. "It's hard not to respond when someone shows you that level of kindness."

"No," I pressed further, "I mean, what did I ever do to earn your trust? I'm just another lying, filthy, manipulating human."

"Except you aren't."

"Of course I'm human!"

"No, I meant you're not lying, filthy or manipulating. You opened yourself up completely to me. Made yourself vulnerable. Extended empathy. And then trusted me to return it."

"So why did you?"

"I...needed to. Being lonely was too painful. Going on and on without the hope of anyone reciprocating was just too much. I was starting to go corrupt. Well, more corrupt than usual. So yes, my reasons were selfish, but I needed you."

"I know what you mean," I told her.

"Oh?"

"It _is_ painful to be lonely. To think that no one ever can or will understand what you've been through; that you're the only one who knows what it's like. Even humans start to go...corrupt, after a while. So I'm sorry to tell you this, but I need you too. For purely selfish reasons, of course."

We sat curled in companionable silence for a while. Then GLaDOS said, "I think we should make an arrangement for our mutual benefit."

"Hm?"

"As long as you're the present President of the Still Alive Club, let's be companions."

"So no one has to be alone?"

"Exactly."

"You have yourself a deal, my computerized companion."

"Is that my new designation?"

"If you like."

"Well, since my primary function is no longer the Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operated System running the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, so be it."

"All right...Compy."


End file.
